This is me
by Tamashi Horo
Summary: Secrets tend to eat you up inside. A fact that Alvin knew all too well, He lived with one himself. No one ever thought that he had a secret that surpassed his supposed shallow personality. Why would they, He's a rock star and the lead singer of a famous band. Being an arrogant jerk comes with the territory, it's what people assume anyway
1. Chapter 1

This is me

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Hello Boys, girls and everyone in-between. Tamashi here with another fanfic for you. Before we get on with the story I wanted to give thanks to anyone who reads and comments on my stories. You guys are great

I also wanted to say thanks to fellow author and friend Zep19 for his support and friendship

I also want to thank my fiancé for putting up with me

This fic is rated T as it covers Sexuality and Gender identity. It will probably contain some coarse language. Enjoy

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Chapter 1

Alvin sat on the beach overlooking a small cove, the warm sand shifting beneath him. The wind kissed his face, blowing gently against his body. The clouds passed him in a sleepy haze, the sun peaking from behind them. He felt safe, free from the shackles of fame. Alvin can be who he himself, who he chooses to be.

Secrets tend to eat you up inside. A fact that Alvin knew all too well, He lived with one himself. No one ever thought that he had a secret that surpassed his supposed shallow personality.

Why would they, He's a rock star and the lead singer of a famous band. Being an arrogant jerk comes with the territory, it's what people assume anyway

That's why Alvin is sitting on this beach alone, resting beneath the warm spring sun. He wanted a break from the rock star mentality, all the stuff that he hates. IT gives him time to be who he truly wants to be

Alvin admitted what he was to himself a long time again, after years of denial and self-hatred. He final feels free to say it, to himself for now. He wasn't ready to share his revelation with others

He is transgender, a boy wanting to be a girl. He had never felt right as a guy, not for a long time anyway.

Alvin knew he'd have to tell his family at some point, thus why he had come to the beach to think

Alvin let out a sigh; He didn't want to face possible rejection. The beach didn't do much to boost his spirits but he didn't know where else to go.

"Look out" A voice called out behind him

He turned in time to see a soccer ball sail past his head, hitting the surf with a loud splash. He could swear his heart skipped a beat.

"Are you ok?" The voice said, sounding familiar

Alvin turned to see Eleanor standing before him in her soccer gear

"I'm fine, just a little startled" He said in a soft voice, keeping his head bent

"I'm so sorry but I'm glad you're ok" Eleanor said, wiping her brow "I'm Eleanor by the way, and you are?"

"I'm …" Alvin begins, suddenly remembering that he's not in his normal outfit. He was currently wearing girl's clothes, with his now longish hair. He looked like a girl

"I'm Charlie" Alvin said, bitting his lip nervously

She smiles at him, quickly retrieves her ball from the surf

"So are you new to town?" Eleanor asks, sitting down next to Alvin

"No, I've been here for a while. Just haven't gotten out much" He explains, noting a hint of the truth behind those words

"Oh Cool, We should hangout some time. If you want" Eleanor said, making Alvin smile

"I'd like that, Thanks Eleanor." Alvin says,

"Call me El, Most of my friends do"

"Ok, Thanks El"

"No Probs"

Hours pass as the two sit on the beach, just chatting at the edge of the water. Alvin felt relaxed, like he belonged. Alvin watched as the sun began to set, a truly wondrous site. He was grateful to have Eleanor as a friend, someone who'd not judge but he couldn't bring himself to tell her his secret

"I should get home, it's getting pretty late" Alvin Stated, standing up from the sand

"I guess I'll see you around then Charlie, It was nice meeting you"

"You too El"

They parted ways, taking the back ways to get home so as not to run into Eleanor. Alvin knew my way around the neighbourhood pretty easily, He also knew a few weak spots in the fences should he want to slip into anyone's property. He learnt these little facts through his numerous romantic exploits with many of the neighbourhood girls

Alvin slipped through the fence surrounding his backyard, climbing up into the tree house that Dave had built for him and his brothers. He didn't want to risk entering the house dressed in his current clothing. He was about to start changing when he heard somebody come up the ladder

"Alvin?" Simon's voice asked, making Alvin freeze stock still

He hoped it was too dark to be seen, a hope that was quickly dashed away from him when a bright light blinded. He shield his face from what he assumed was the beam of a flashlight

"Who are you?" Simon asked, confused as hell

"It's me Si" Alvin said, still trying to hide his face

Simon turned off the flashlight, plunging the tree house into semi-darkness. There was an awkward silence in the air; it felt almost suffocating to Alvin. He cleared his throat to break the silence.

"Si, I wanted to tell you but… I was scared how you guys would react. I thought you'd hate me" Alvin began to explain

"Alvin … I don't like that you lied to me but I'd never hate you. Not for something like this" Simon responded

"Thanks but I guess I wasn't really ready to come forward, I mean… I'm still scared"

"I'll support you Al and I know Dave would too, I'm not sure about Theo or the girls" Simon gave Alvin a sort of side hug

"So what do I call you now?" Simon asked

"Charlie" Alvin responded

"My sister Charlie" Simon said with a bemused look

"I know it sounds weird" Alvin said with a smile

"I'll get used to it" Simon said "Let's get inside before Dave kills us"

"Gimmie a sec to change"

Simon climbs down from the tree house, leaving Alvin to his thoughts. He already had too people in his corner, well one doesn't know yet. Alvin still felt good, like he has the courage to come out.

Alvin changed back into his normal attire, tucking his other clothing away before climbing down from the tree house. He looks towards the house, a sigh escaping him. He'd have to face his fears eventually, something he really wasn't looking forward to.


	2. Chapter 2

This is me

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Chapter 2

Things had been going well for Alvin, He was starting to feel better about his Identity. That was mostly due to Simon's support. For the first time in forever, He was actually getting along with his brother. Alvin guessed he understood why he was acting like a total douche. It felt good to finally cease the arguing

Their new lack of conflict didn't go unnoticed, they'd both underestimated the youngest of their family. Alvin caught the odd glances that Theodore gave him and Simon at dinner and in the hall, it was kind of chilling. Had Theo found out Alvin's secret or was he thinking something worse of him. Both of those options made Alvin nervous. He thought that maybe either he or Simon should talk to the green clad munk

He knew just when to do it to. Dave was working late and It would just be the three of them.

Alvin discussed his plan with Simon that afternoon and they agreed to talk to him at dinner. Theodore would never run from a meal, they knew that very well.

With evening quickly rolling around, the three boys prepared for dinner, which was a delicious spaghetti and mushroom sauce. Theo had really outdone himself as usual

"It looks great Theo" Alvin said with his usual cavalier attitude, so as to be able to catch Theo off guard

As Theo began tucking into his food, the two boys pushed away their plates, drawing their younger sibling's attention. They both looked at the rotund chipmunk, as if trying to gauge his reaction

"We need to talk Theo" Alvin said quietly, in an almost serious manner

"What's wrong Alvin?" The younger chipmunk asked, his mouth half stuffed with food

"We noticed that you've been giving both of us odd looks, we want to know why" Alvin said, drawing his brother's attention

"Well...Uh… you guys stopped fighting and started actually getting on. So I thought…" Theo stopped mid-sentence, frustrating Alvin to no end

"Thought what Theo" Alvin asked curiously

"Is something going on between you two because if there is it needs to stop. It's just wrong, sick even" Theodore had now abandoned his fork, biting his lower lip

"What do you mean Theodore?" Simon asked, quickly being overshadowed by Alvin

"Yeah what does you mean Theodore" Alvin said through clenched teeth

"What you're doing goes against nature, I mean you're brothers" Theodore replied

Simon caught what he meant quickly, turning a shade of deep red. Alvin looked at his brother with confusion, tilting his head

"Do you think me and Alvin are together Theodore? In a romantic or sexual way" Simon said, making Alvin stare in horror.

"You aren't?" Theodore asked

"No, you've got it all wrong Theo" The eldest chipmunk replied quickly, waving his hands franticly

"Oh… Oh! I am so sorry you guys" It was Theodore's turn to turn red

"Its fine Theo, It's just a misunderstanding. A very odd one" Simon said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose

"Simon has been helping me with …" Simon quickly cut Alvin off before he could finish his sentence

"You don't have to tell him Al" Simon said hastily

"No he has a right to know Simon" Alvin said before turning to Theo "Theo this is hard for me to tell you so please keep an open mind"

"Ok Alvin" Theodore said, scepticism heavy in his voice

"It's...well...I'm..." Alvin sighed, this was harder than he thought.

He opened his mouth again when an idea struck.

"Theo, this is really hard to explain, so maybe it was just be easier if I showed you." he said, a slight blush coming to his cheeks as he got up and left the table.

A few minutes passed for the brothers, silently waiting for Alvin to return. It wasn't until Alvin return did either of them speak. When the oldest of the tri returned both looked at him with a stunned expression

"A…A…Alvin?" Theo stuttered, his eyes wide in shock

Simon was speechless, he'd only seen Alvin like this in the low light of the treehouse. He had never got a good look and now that he had, he saw his brother/sister in a whole new light. Alvin looked stunning in the red knee length sundress, the long hair he'd always hidden beneath his cap now flowing down to his shoulders

"Y…Yeah, It's me Theo" Alvin said, blushing a bright red

"Wow, you look amazing" Simon said, coming out of his stunned stupor

"I agree" Theodore added

"Thanks guys, I guess I was afraid you'd hate me for being Transgender" Alvin said

"For being Transgender, of course not Alvin" Theo says, laying a comforting hand on Alvin's shoulder as he sat down at the table "I'm actually a huge supporter for LGBT rights and some of my friends are actually gay"

Alvin smiled at his youngest brother, pulling him into a massive hug. To say he was relieved would be an understatement. He was so happy that his brothers loved him no matter if he wanted to be a guy or a girl

"So…What's you're girl name then?" Theodore asked

"Charlie, my name will be Charlie

"Would you prefer we call you Charlie or Alvin?"

"Call me Alvin until I come out to Dave"

"Ok Alvin" Simon and Theodore said together

"Thank you guys for being so supportive of me" Alvin said, tears forming in his eyes

"It's no problem Alvin" Simon stated

"Yeah you're our brother and we'll love you no matter what" Theodore

After an almost awkwardly long group hug, the trio sat down to finish their meals and Alvin was comforted in the fact that his brothers would stand by his side through this. They are truly the perfect family to have


	3. Chapter 3

This is me

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Chapter 3

Alvin hated his brothers at the very moment as they dragged him through the house to face Dave, not something he particularly wanted to do. They had insisted, telling him it would better to tell Dave now. Like quickly ripping off a Band-Aid, better done quickly than slowly

He couldn't deny that Dave needed to be told but was all too soon for him. To say he was nervous was an understatement.

"Don't worry Alvin, It's all going to work out" Theodore says, reassuring his older brother/sister

"Thanks Theo, that makes me feel loads better" Alvin says with a smile.

They enter Dave's studio, seeing their adoptive father hunched over a piano with his pen in hand. Simon and Theo shove Alvin further into the room, giving him a thumbs up to go ahead

"Uh Dave? We have an idea to show you, could you come out to the garage" Alvin ask nervously, fidgeting as Dave puts his pen down

"Alright fellas, I need a break any way" Dave says with a sigh

"Just give us a few minutes to get ready" Alvin says as he disappears out of the room

Dave sighs again, making his way out to the garage. He was surprised to see a makeshift stage in the centre of the garage. Two of his three sons already on stage, ready to start their show.

A small cough draws Dave's attention to his eldest son, who was dressed in a white dress with his hair resting over his shoulders. He was shocked to see his son dressed this way but stayed silent for the moment

Alvin stepped up to the microphone, clearing his voice again before starting his song

"How can you see into my eyes, Like open doors" Alvin sings as Simon plays the piano and Theo on guitar "Leading you down into my core, where I have become so numb"

Alvin locks eyes with Dave as he sings, gently swaying from side to side. He feel all his tension melt away as he is lost in the song, his voice becoming more confident as he sings.

"Without soul, my spirit is sleeping somewhere cold. Until you find it there and lead it back

Home" The lights in the garage begin to dim, switching to strobe lights as they begin the chorus.

"(Wake me up) Wake me up inside! (Can't Wake up) Wake me up inside! (Save me)" Alvin sings, Simon and Theo providing backup vocals "Call my name and save me from the dark, (wake me up) bid my Blood to run (Wake me up) before I come undone (I can't wake up) Save me from the nothing I've become"

Alvin stops for a brief second to look at Dave who seems enraptured by the performance. He smiles to himself, singing again with more confidence

"Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life" Alvin's lowers as the lights do before jumping back into the chorus

"(Wake me up) Wake me up inside! (Can't Wake up) Wake me up inside! (Save me)" Alvin sings out the chorus, Simon and Theo still providing backup vocals "Call my name and save me from the dark, (wake me up) bid my Blood to run (Wake me up) before I come undone (I can't wake up) Save me from the nothing I've become"

"Bring me to life (I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside) Bring me to life" The lights fade, a single spotlight shining down on Alvin

"Frozen inside without your touch, Without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the deeead!"

"All this time I can't believe I couldn't see, kept in the dark but you were there in front of me" Simon quickly sings

"I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, Got to open my eyes to everything" Alvin sings out

"Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul"

"Don't let me die here"

"There must be something more"

"Bring me to life"

"(Wake me up) Wake me up inside! (Can't Wake up) Wake me up inside! (Save me)" Alvin sings out the chorus, Simon and Theo still providing backup vocals "Call my name and save me from the dark, (wake me up) bid my Blood to run (Wake me up) before I come undone (I can't wake up) Save me from the nothing I've become"

"Bring me to life (I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)

Bring me to life"

The music begin to fade, the lights coming back on. Dave stands, whistling and clapping for them.

"That was absolutely amazing you guys, but...don't you think a female lead singer would be best? You were fantastic Alvin, but we could get some backlash over you coming out wearing a dress like that." Dave says, obviously not seeing the message his son was sending

""The thing is Dave...we have a female lead for this one..." Dave looks confused "...me Dave...I'm...I'm transgender."

Dave does a double take, his mind not quite catching what his son had said. He quickly caught on, berating himself for not seeing it. Dave is shocked to the point of speechlessness but after just looking at Alvin in his new attire as a girl. He smiles, a tear slips out as he runs up to the stage to hug Alvin.

"Alvin Seville, my daughter. I'm so proud of you. It's not what I expected but neither the less I am so proud of you for embracing who you really are" Dave says as he hugs his 'daughter'

"Thank you Dave… I was so scared about how you'd react and to know that you're proud of me… It means the world to me" Alvin says, tears now running down his cheeks

"I love you no matter what Alvin" Dave says, giving Alvin a kiss on the forehead

"You guys can call me Charlie, Alvin is a guy's name" Charlie says, taking on her new name

"You're gonna have to call the school and explain the situation to them Dave" Simon points out, making both Alvin and Dave face palm at the same time

Charlie knew that this was going to stir up trouble and it wasn't going easy on their family.

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A/N

Hey guys I just wanted to give a quick thanks to my dearest friends Michael and my big brother Dan for helping me out with this chapter

You guys are bloody awesome


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